A new beginning

My son graduates from college tomorrow, a day that marks the official end of child-rearing for Marice and me.

We surrendered front-line parental duties some time ago when our daughter and son stopped needing our constant attention and began regarding us with the sort of benign neglect in which young folks interact with their parents.

For us, the disengagement process began when my daughter left for college in 2010 and now ends when her younger brother walks across the stage at UNT tomorrow morning.

We’ll still be Rachel and Ethan’s parents, of course, but those are formal titles with no real power and few responsibilities, except those assigned by the kids and carefully regulated to keep our interference at a minimum.

Nothing tragic about any of this, understand. It’s a process that’s been repeated millions of times before and will continue, I suppose, until the sun is a cinder in a barren sky.

It seems only yesterday that I wiped a smear of jelly off Ethan’s face before he toddled off to the first day of kindergarten at Johnson Elementary School. The last 16 years have passed in a blur, as they do for every parent.

There are plenty of moments in Ethan’s life I’d like to replay, if only the world worked that way.

n  Infant Ethan struggling unsuccessfully to crawl and thwarted by his chubby little arms and legs.

n   Ethan, in a makeshift robe made of one of my white shirts worn backwards, sitting proudly with other day-school graduates as an auditorium full of parents snap photos.

n  Ethan, face radiant with triumph, holding up his trophy after his flag-football team won the rec league championship.

n  Ethan speeding down the sideline to a touchdown after intercepting a pass during one of his 7^th-grade games. Later, the game photographer tells me as I walk in his studio, “Yes, I got it!”

n  Ethan at his bar mitzvah party – dressed in boots, cowboy hat and western shirt – riding the mechanical bull he insisted we rent for the occasion.

n  Ethan, with quiet pride, showing me the team video he was commissioned to make of Carroll High’s boys soccer squad, and my astonishment at how good it really was.

n  Ethan meeting me after a blowout his lacrosse team suffered against Dallas Episcopal and displaying the angry black, blue and green bruises he received playing goalie. “They must have been throwing the ball really hard,” he says laconically. “Bruises usually don’t turn this color for a few days.”

n  Ethan informing me that he was moving out of the Denton apartment he shared with a couple of high school friends because he was bored of “just sitting around and getting stoned all day.” One semester later, he makes the Dean’s List.

And so many more. Life with Ethan has been an interesting ride, and now that I’m coming to the end of an important segment of the journey, I think often of how my son developed from the cheery-faced youngster with a mischievous grin to the solemn, thoughtful young man who drifts in and out of my home today.

When I look at him, I’m reminded of the old saying that “still waters run deep.” He is not who he sometimes appears to be – a feckless 20-something more interested in video games than current affairs, a self-centered, self-satisfied member of his generation.

He is a serious person, this handsome, well-mannered son of mine, a fact reaffirmed this summer as I looked through photographs he and his friends took during a trip to Germany and Switzerland.

Yes, there were the expected number of photos of he and his companions mugging for the camera at tables loaded with steins of good German beer – a great deal of bonhomie recorded for posterity.

But the overwhelming majority of the shots were of examples of magnificent medieval architecture and of exhibits in the many art-filled museums Ethan dragged his friends to. Photo after photo of Ethan standing beside paintings, tapestries and sculptures from institutions across the two countries.

And then there were the photos from Dachau. Ethan’s buddies didn’t want to go to the site of the infamous Nazi death camp. They reasoned it would be too sad, too brutal, too much of a downer, better to find a more pleasant way to spend the afternoon.

But Ethan had just taken a class in the political use of genocide throughout history and so understood the true horror of the place. He insisted on the two-hour train ride.

When I looked at the photos these young men took during the tour – of the appalling barracks (mercifully empty now of the shattered men and women who once inhabited them), the horrific ovens (nightmarish even 72 years after the last hellish ember died), all the stark monuments to unimaginable evil, I felt the sting of tears, which mingled with the pride I felt for my son, who demonstrated the substance of his soul and the depth of his character in taking his friends to that dreadful place.

His plans after graduation are fluid. He’d like to live in Israel for a while, the result of a deeply spiritual Birthright trip he took last summer – and perhaps also because of a girl he met there. There’s always a girl, isn’t there?

I’m against the plan, but of what importance is my opinion in the matter? As I said before, my influence in the direction of my son’s life, never terribly strong, is fading, fading fast.

He still yearns to be a filmmaker, although his ardor is moderated by his understanding of financial realities and the uncertainty of creative success. He loves to travel, to drink good wine, to eat fine food and to live the good life, but he knows such things come with a price tag.

Whatever he does, he’ll make out fine. Whether by design or luck, or both, Marice and I have raised a strong and caring man, a person of substance who understands human nature and human frailties, who recognizes artistic beauty and appreciates artistic creativity. He’s the person I wish I had been at his age, filled with the spirit of adventure and a life of possibilities lying before him.

It will not always be easy, with villains and knaves at every bend in the road ready to derail dreams and detour ambitions. But Ethan, in the words of Faulkner, not only will endure, he will prevail.

Congratulations on your wonderful achievement, my son, love of my life, pride of my life, and may you always enjoy fair winds and following seas.

Region I Final: Waco Midway 42, Southlake Carroll 28

I didn’t travel to Baylor’s McLane Stadium yesterday to watch the fourth-round matchup between Southlake Carroll and Waco Midway, wary of a late-night return on traffic-choked Interstate 35. I’m not as young or as adventurous as I used to be.

Shame on me, though, because I missed a real barnburner, one that revealed what a special group of young men this year’s version of the Dragons truly is. Character is revealed both in victory – and in defeat. And the young Dragons now leave the playoffs as winners, heads held high, despite the heartbreaking results displayed above.

In considering this game beforehand – and in contemplating the likely subject matter this report would involve – I thought about Dylan Thomas’ immortal poem – his best – “Do Not Go Gentle Into that Good Night.”

I figured, I hoped, the Dragons would give a good accounting of themselves, that they would “rage, rage against the dying of the light,” in a contest no one believed they could win.

After all, the Panthers were just too strong, too talented, too intensely focused on winning the first state championship in their excellent program’s history. The Dragons, on the other hand, were – in the words of a friend of mine – “playing on house money.” They already had exceeded expectations, performing well beyond the level of their ability just by making the fourth round of the playoffs. Besides, their best player, rusher T.J. McDaniel, was sidelined with a broken collarbone.

In the beginning, things went pretty much as predicted. If you relied on the eye test – or in my particular case the ear test since I was listening to the radio broadcast of the game – you weren’t in much doubt as to who was the better team as the confident Midway sprang to a 21-0 lead over the struggling Dragons.

The Panthers won the contest sure enough. But it wasn’t an easy victory, by any means, and the proud Dragons have nothing to be ashamed of. They fought to the end, and their dramatic 3^rd quarter comeback was a marvelous thing to behold for Dragon fans. They evened a three-TD deficit, and when Midway struck back quickly, they kept the score close until the very end.

The heralded Midway offense, led by quarterback Tanner Mordecai, arrived as advertised at McLane Stadium. Mordecai, who came into the game with 1,000 yards rushing and 3,600 yards passing, is a beast. He’ll do well at the next level, which in his case is Oklahoma.

He and running back James Fulbright (28 carries for 157 yards and 1 TD), performed behind a stout and talented O-line, riddling Dragon defenses for most of the night. Mordecai was equally effective in the air, connecting with receivers Demarcus Degrate (5 for 193, 1 TD) and C.J. Williams (8 for 62) all over the field.

Mordecai, described by his coach as the next Baker Mayfield, “only bigger” – ran for two touchdowns and passed for a third in three of Midway’s first four possessions of the first half. He ended the night with four rushing TDs, completing 18 of 30 passes for 191 yards and rushing for 122.

While the Panthers ripped through the defense, the Dragon offense initially sputtered, going 3-and-out on its first series and watching morosely as Midway surged to a two-score lead. When Carroll finally muscled its way into the Panther red zone late in the first quarter, its drive stalled at the 13. Kicker Neal Koskay then added to Dragon miseries when he muffed a 23-yard field goal.

Carroll managed to hold the Panthers to a 3-and-out on the subsequent series, but despite excellent field position near midfield, it was unable to convert on 4^th down at the Midway 33, setting up the Panthers’ third score.

The radio guys couldn’t remember the last time the Dragons had slipped behind three touchdowns without drawing blood themselves, and neither can I. With 8 long minutes left in the 2^nd period, it looked like a dark, bleak evening stretched before the Dragon Nation – and an even longer drive home.

But instead of surrendering to despair, the young Dragons dug deep and came out swinging. Junior quarterback Will Bowers, who had an excellent night despite the loss, engineered a 10-play, 70-yard scoring drive that demonstrated the Dragons had plenty of fight left.

The drive culminated in a bit of Dragon trickery at the Midway 30, when they lined up in the wildcat formation with sophomore  R.J. Mickens behind center. The sophomore then pitched the ball to Bowers (20 of 30 for 288, 3 TDs, 1 INT), who sailed a high arching pass to Bell in the end zone.

On the next Panther drive, the Dragon defense joined the fray, slowing down Mordecai and blanketing his receivers as Midway neared the goal line yet again.

With 27 seconds left in the half, Mordecai tried three times from the Dragon 11 to hit receivers in the end zone, but his passes were batted away each time. Defensive end Jacob Dodderidge capped the defensive stand, leaping up and blocking Midway’s field goal attempt, and the Dragons cruised into halftime with some momentum to ease the pain of a two-score deficit.

The Dragons scored on their first two drives after halftime, both on Bowers passes to Mickens (4 for 69, 2 TDs), a defensive standout who also plays offense and special teams. In between, Carroll’s beleaguered defense disrupted a Mordecai-led march to TD, forcing a 4^th -and-long at the Dragon 27 that failed when he couldn’t connect with a receiver.

Dragon head coach Hal Wasson told The Dallas Morning News that no one should be surprised at the Dragon comeback.

“It’s in our DNA,” Wasson said. “These guys don’t know how to surrender. It comes from great leadership from our seniors.”

Mordecai said his team expected the Dragon rally.

“They have probably the best tradition in the state so we knew it was not over,” he told The News. “Our thought when they tied it was, okay, we’re starting over fresh.”

And indeed, the Dragon celebration was brief.

On the next kickoff, Midway returned the ball to its 43, and Mordecai took less than 2 minutes to stage a 5-play, 57-yard drive that put the Panthers ahead once again, 28-21. That drive ended in dramatic fashion, when Mordecai took the ball from center, burst straight up the middle and sped 45 yards to the end zone.

In many ways, you could capsulize the game in that single play. Wasson summed it up in a post-game radio interview.

“They are a great team, and they’ve got a great triggerman,” he said. “Whenever we got some momentum, they responded. This is the playoffs and that’s what great teams do.”

The killing blow for the Dragons came immediately after Mordecai’s tie-breaking scamper. On the third play from scrimmage, a Bowers pass was intercepted and returned to the Dragon 20. It took the Panthers only three plays to reach the end zone and extend their lead to two touchdowns.

The Dragons responded with a beautiful 6-play, 81-yard scoring drive. It included a 30-yard pass to Cade Bell (8 for 111 yards and 1 TD) and a 26-yard missile to Eli Fergel, only his second reception of the year, ending when Bowers dived desperately for the pylon from the 5.

Carroll would get no closer, however, and Mordecai tacked on an insurance score as the clock drained to zero.

So it ended. Midway plays Longview in the semifinals next week. The Dragons go Christmas shopping.

“You always hate to lose,” Wasson told a radio interviewer. “But we’ve got a great group of young men, and they’ve got a lot of heart. I love this team.”

As well he should. When the Dragons ended the regular season with three losses, no one believed they would progress much beyond the first round of the playoffs.

Instead, they beat an upstart McKinney in the first round, whipped reigning state champion DeSoto in the second and edged past an excellent Arlington High squad in the third.

But without the services of an 1,800-yard running back, the worthy McDaniel, and O-line standout Henry Mossberg, they had little chance of halting Midway’s determined march to state.

The good news – and there's always some good news to soothe an aching heart – is that next year bodes well for Dragon fortunes. This year’s squad was filled with talented juniors and sophomores who will enter 2018 experienced and well-tested.

Bowers really came into his own in the playoffs, becoming the difference-maker that his coaches hoped he would be. He’s poised for a splendid senior season. He and McDaniel, along with receivers Carson White and Wills Meyer, will form an excellent offensive core. Mossberg also will return to anchor an O-line that played lights-out this year.

Mickens will continue his phenomenal career at Carroll. Already a standout on defense, Mickens became the complete player this year, performing well as a go-to receiver and a lethal kickoff return man. Just thinking about how much better he’ll be in only his junior year makes the heart go pitty-pat.

Koskay will be a senior, and freshman Joe McFadden was handed PAT duties last night, an indication that coaches wanted to assess his abilities with an eye to next year. McFadden was flawless.

Defensively, the talented Jake Fex is back, as are Fergal and linebackers Michael Parrish, who  a great game last night, and Preston Forney.

On a sadder note, last night was the final game in Dragon uniform for a number of senior stars, including receivers Bell, Hudson Shrum and Darryl Crockett, defensive backs Hayden Hayes and Joe DeVincenzo, linebackers Ryan Thompson and Matty Werner, and O-lineman Jackson Kimble. And of course, defensive leader Jacob Dodderidge, who also played halfback in key series this year, leaves a huge hole in the lineup for some worthy underclassman to fill.

Wasson praised his departing seniors, calling them the backbone of the Dragons’ winning tradition.

Under their leadership, he said, his team “pushed a great team to the limit. We just didn’t get some of the breaks.”

“I have listened to their hearts,” an emotional Wasson said after the game, “and I know how seriously they took the responsibility of carrying on the great legacy of this program.”

In the bitterness of loss, the young Dragons wept in each other’s arms as they gathered for the last time before the Dragon Marching Band to hear the school alma mater. In years to come, when they are old and gray, as I am now, they will remember this night differently.

The pain of defeat will have long faded, replaced by a faint throb of regret. What still will be powerful and crystal clear will be the memory of when they engaged in a great struggle with their teammates, a time of brotherhood, a time of comradeship, respect and, yes, of love.

Until next season, go Dragons!

Regional Semi-Final Round: Southland Carroll 28, Arlington 24

FRISCO – It’s been many a moon since the Southlake Carroll Dragons experienced such a gut-busting, nerve-wracking, breath-taking contest as the one last night against the talented and under-rated Arlington Colts.

But Carroll survived – barely – by demonstrating character, adaptability and sheer grit before an amazed Dragon Nation at the Star’s Ford Center.

 It’s a game we won’t long forget, and my stomach is still fluttering this morning after being twisted in knots by the roller-coaster, knuckle-biting nature of the matchup.

The diminished Dragons travel to Waco on Saturday to face lethal Waco Midway (13-0) in Region I finals at Baylor’s McLain Stadium. They do so without the services of their stellar running back, the worthy T.J. McDaniel, who went down in the 2^nd quarter with an injury and likely is out for the season.

The nature of injuries in high school football are not widely discussed, but the Fort Worth Star Telegram said McDaniel, who was pursuing a 2,000-yard season for the Dragons, may have broken his right collarbone. He appeared on the sideline after the half wearing his right arm in a sling so that seems a fair assessment.

McDaniel was 15 for 83 yards and 1 TD last night and finishes the season with 1,846 rushing yards. What the Dragons will be able to accomplish without the junior transfer from Coppell, who bedeviled DeSoto last week in Carroll’s signature round-two win over the Eagles, is anyone’s guess. But they’ll face an uphill battle against Midway, who dismantled Mansfield 48-17 on Friday to keep a perfect record.

The key play of the game, and easily one of the most dramatic in Dragon history, occurred early in the 4^th quarter. Trailing 24-21, the Dragons faced a 4^th down at the Arlington 2.

With McDaniel out of the game, quarterback Will Bowers engineered the drive that brought the Dragons to that decisive moment of the game, slipping easily into the role of Dragon playmaker.

His hard running and 26-yard and 21-yard passes to Cade Bell had moved the Dragons into the Colt red zone, but things got sticky inside the 5. Rather than settle for a tying field goal, Carroll head coach Hal Wasson chose to gamble on a go-ahead touchdown.

Bowers dropped back and drifted right as Colt defenders fought to reach him. He spotted Carson White speeding left across the goal line, pivoted and threw across his body. The ball sailed high, and White fought off two defenders to make a diving catch at the far corner of the end zone. The extra point gave the Dragons the 28-24 margin they carried to the closing bell.

“We knew it was going to come down to the wire, and someone was going to have to make a play,” Wasson told The Dallas Morning News. “But I think the difference for us, when they made plays or made a drive, we responded. That's playoff time. You either respond or you go home.”

So the Dragons will go to Waco, and Arlington goes home. The Carroll defense is a big reason why. It’s operating at maximum effectiveness and kept the Dragons in the game last night as they struggled to adjust to McDaniel’s absence. Moreover, the Dragons rediscovered their passing game, thanks to a magnificent effort by Bowers both in the air and on the ground.

Carroll seemed in full control last night before losing its rushing star. It opened with a seemingly effortless 12-play, 75-yard touchdown drive powered by McDaniel, who began with a 26-yard run on the first play of the game and ended with a 2-yard plunge into the end zone.

But when he left the game, you could almost hear the air going out of the Dragon offense. Arlington kept McDaniel’s backup, senior Tavian Gould, entirely in check, and Carroll’s drive toward a second TD stalled at the Colt 25.

An errant snap interrupted the timing of the usually reliable Neal Koskay, and his 41-yard field goal sailed wide.

Taking over on the 25, Colt quarterback D’Montae Davis handed off to RB Kenland McCray, who drove through the Dragon line and sprinted 75 yards to the end zone, leaving gaping Dragon defenders in his wake.

Carroll went 3-and-out on the next series, and the Colts were driving for a go-ahead TD when the Carroll defense stepped up big. A Davis pass was picked off by sophomore defensive back R.J. Mickens and returned 68 yards down the right sideline to give Southlake a 14-7 lead.

But the Colts showed their explosive power when Davis took the snap on the third play of the resulting series and charged 59 yards to even the score with 2:26 left in the half.

Another Carroll 3-and-out set up an energized Arlington at its 27, but Dragon defender Joe DeVincenzo intercepted a Davis pass to a receiver in the red zone, thus ending a disappointing half for Southlake.

Even the halftime show was full of dark omens. During the Emerald Belles routine, a Belle dancer tripped and fell. Recovering quickly, she smoothly rejoined the line, and the dance number continued without further mishap. It was the first time I’ve seen such a thing in 10 years of watching Southlake half-time shows. It’s got to mean something, right?

As the Belles foretold, Colt dominance opened the 2^nd half, with Davis and McCray engineering a 79-yard scoring drive to give Arlington its first lead of the night.

And that’s when the tempo of the game shifted. Bowers (10 of 14 for 179 yards and 1 TD, 87 yards on 18 carries) came out passing, sending a 57-yard bomb to Preston Forney and an 8-yard dart to Cade Bell (5 for 73). From the 10, Gould surged across the goal line, and the game was tied again 21-21.

The Dragons blunted the Colt express train on the next series, limiting Arlington to a 36-yard field goal. A definitive Dragon response was essential.

That response ended in the gutsy call to go for it all from the 2. But as incredibly exciting and immensely satisfying as White’s desperate heroics in the left corner of the end zone were, they only presented the Dragons with a 4-point lead. That seemed pretty flimsy with most of the 4^th quarter looming. I said quietly to myself, “Now we’ve got to stop them. Can we?”

The answer was yes, at least on the next Colt possession. But given a chance to score an insurance touchdown, the Dragons stalled, facing 4-3 at the Colt 33.

Bowers’ pass was batted down, and the Colts took over, needing 67 yards for the go-ahead touchdown with 2 minutes left.

Davis (11 of 17 for 129 yards, 15 for 139 yards and 2 TDs) and McCray (19 for 137, 1 TD) clawed their way to midfield. With 1:15 left, Davis faced 4-5 at the Dragon 49, but his wide-open receiver at the Carroll 30 saw the pass fly over his head. The Dragons took over the ball and ran out the clock.

After the game, Wasson praised his team for its determination in overcoming the loss of McDaniel.

“I couldn’t be more proud of these young men,” he said in a radio interview. “At the beginning of this season, I knew there was something unique and different about this team. They only needed to discover that. I think they did that tonight.”

Bell told a radio interviewer that the team adjusted naturally to the bitter loss of its best player.

“This is what we practice every day,” he said. “We’re all trained that any one of us can make those plays and handle those assignments. We’re Dragons. That’s what we do.”

That’s brave talk, and I’m sure young Bell believes every word of it. And why shouldn’t he? It’s one of the keys to the Dragons’ success over the years – training, discipline and believing in yourself. That has won more games than raw athletic talent any day. You can look it up.

When the game was over, the players converged to the sideline in front of the student section of the Ford Center. As they sang the Carroll alma mater, many waved four fingers over their heads, acknowledgment that they understand the significance of moving to the fourth round of the playoffs for the second time in four years.

This is a team for whom nothing has come easy. So why should facing a potent opponent without one of your chief weapons be any different? We’ll see how far grit and guts can carry these guys. Don’t bet against them.

Go Dragons!